Dr Karina's good therapy 'Cherishing our autistic children'

Frustrated by a system that told her to lower her expectations for her neurodiverse son, Karina explains by acting quickly, it's amazing what Max - and kids like him - can achieve.

- WORDS by JUDY BAILEY

“It hurts my heart when I can't play with other kids. I want to, but I don't know how.”

It was heartbreaking for Dr Karina McHardy to hear those words from her young autistic son Max, who was desperate to join in with others, but not feeling able.

Sadly, the parents of autistic children are so often told their child is going to be happier on their own. But that is often not the case, as Karina has found.

“They absolutely can get there, but it’s often a more circuitous path,” she says before using an analogy to explain further. “My daughter might learn to make her own breakfast – but my son has to build the kitchen first, then he can get on with making his breakfast.”

Max was diagnosed with severe autism at 19 months old. Autism spectrum disorder is defined as a neurodevelopment condition that affects cognitive, sensory and social processing. It can present in someone in many diverse ways. Essentially it means the brain works differently. It’s estimated that one in five children appear somewhere on the neurodivergent continuum.

“One of my big learnings is to understand the importance of trusting your gut because it’s a deeply informed insight that is born of 24/7 observation of your child,” says Karina. “I felt the differences before I saw them.”

Challengingly, Max has a twin sister, Matilda, who progressed in the 99th percentile of development.

“There was a lot of reassurance and positioning me as the overanxious mum, seeing things that weren’t there,” recalls Karina. “People told me my expectations were unrealistic.”

She was told she was unfairly comparing Max with his twin.

“But I knew something was up. I knew that ‘wait and see’ was not in his best interests. I knew he would benefit from additional help, so I acted with urgency and that changed the trajectory of his life.”