MAKING LIVING, BREATHING FRIENDS IN DIVINITY: ORIGINAL SIN 2 PART 3

Now that Mister Fibula looks the part he's ready to mingle. By James Nouch

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If Mister Fibula had eyelids, he'd let them gently close now. Instead, he allows the tastefully wide brim of his hat to cover his face as he listens to the crashing of the waves and the creaking of the masts. Here, on the bow of the ship (which we recently... liberated from the dastardly Magisters) his concerns seem to melt away in the ocean spray. He reaches out and lays a bony hand on the intricately carved figurehead. And then he bursts into flames.

With the deep and weary sigh of someone who's endured more than their share of getting-set-on-fire recently, Mister Fibula waits for the inferno to subside, patting out the flames that lick at his hard-won and carefully coordinated outfit. The problem here is that the Lady Vengeance is no normal ship. It's an ancient structure made of sentient livewood, and as such it is in possession of its own voice, its own will, and - apparently - its own finely honed ability to scorch any sucker that manhandles its figurehead. As if that wasn't bad enough, the Magisters cruelly bound the ship to do their bidding, and so we won't be able to properly set sail until this connection is severed.

Now, call me a worrier, but I can't help but think that everyone seems weirdly calm that our only means of transportation is a) capable of setting us on fire and b) capable of refusing directions. If my Ford Fiesta ever declared it would no longer be willing to drive me to "anywhere even slightly muddy" and then tried to burn me with the cigarette lighter, I'd be part-exchanging it within the hour. But, with the Magisters hot on our heels, there's simply no time to debate this point. Mister Fibula dutifully heads below deck in search of a solution - and perhaps a cooling emollient.