It’s officially wine time, just as you thought you’d had enough

"ASSAIL!"

- CERI GOULD

Now it's your turn.What do you mean you don’t know what I’m going on about?

Just reply “Drinkhail” and take a sip from this giant wooden bowl.

No, it’s not another party game. Yes, I know we've all had a gutsful of charades and arguments over the rules of new board games. Just take a slurp and pass it on. What do you mean no-one wants any because they all have headaches or they’re asleep? Wake up Uncle John and tell him it is the Feast of St John. He needs to wassail.

No, I will not pipe down. It's December 27. The day we've been waiting for. The day we get to drink copious amounts of wine. Everyone knows that, don’t they?

What's that?

Are you seriously asking whether you need to get dressed? Yes, get dressed. Step out of that reindeer onesie and kick off those Elf slippers. Who bought you those?

They are a tumbledown-the-stairs A&E visit waiting to happen. It is December 27 and we need to go wassailing.

You've never heard of it? Wassail is basically Tudor-speak for “cheers” a toast to good health. And today, the Feast of St John, we are meant to drink lots and lots of wine.

Ah, you thought you had already covered that on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day, bravely powering through the leftovers with wine easing the whines. Understandable. But 'tis today I tell you, today is officially wine time.

Blame the Tudors, blame medieval types, blame long-ago Roman Catholics. According to Historic UK, it’s their fault that today is dedicated to the consumption of fermented fruit. Or ale. Or cider. Let's just say anything alcoholic.