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To give and what to give? That is the question

The Straits Times

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December 01, 2024

Finding the right gift can be stressful, but there is a reason why this tradition endures.

- Tham Yuen-C

To give and what to give? That is the question

It's Christmastime, and 'tis the season to be jolly. Except, some of us who still cannot decide whether to buy a tangerine vinegar or an offset spatula for that foodie friend may be feeling more frustrated than festive.

Giving and receiving gifts are among the joys of the yuletide season. But choosing and buying the right gifts can be such a fraught endeavor that a survey in 2023 by YouGov in Britain found more than 45 per cent of Christmas shoppers were very or somewhat stressed about shopping for presents.

The pressure of buying the perfect item for family, friends and, sometimes, even people you hardly know can take the shine out of the season. In the same YouGov survey, more than half of shoppers said it was difficult to choose something people would like.

Anyone who has spent countless hours running around crowded shops, trying to decide what to buy for a $20 Secret Santa workplace gift, would know that feeling of dread. And spare a thought for those whose gifts were eventually met with barely veiled disappointment, tears or even accusations of not caring enough.

WHY DO WE GIVE GIFTS? The tradition of gift-giving during Christmas has been attributed to the commercialisation of the holiday, and it is partly true. But our fear of a festive gift faux pas may have deep, evolutionary roots.

Gift exchange is an important part of societies the world over since, it seems, the time of our caveman ancestors. According to paleoanthropologist Ariane Burke, a professor from the Department of Anthropology at the Universite de Montreal, early modern humans were able to spread rapidly because of their ability to create symbolic objects that allowed them to form social networks across vast territories.

When Homo sapiens arrived in Europe, Neanderthals had already been around for more than 250,000 years. But in 15,000 short years, Homo sapiens managed to expand so rapidly that they occupied the whole of Europe and Eurasia.

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