How to support your teens through exams

Instead of constant reminders, what they need is acknowledgement from their parents that they are, in fact, studying

- Elisa Chia

Exam periods can be a challenging time for relationships between parents and their teenage children.

While you might have been actively involved in their PSLE preparation, your teens now prefer to manage their revision and desire their own space.

Yet, it is only natural that you worry about their preparedness, especially for important year-end papers and national exams like the N, O and A levels. Are they studying enough?

"Many parents may not realise when their care and concern can tip into overbearing behaviour," says family life educator Selene Yap from nonprofit organisation Lakeside Family Services in Jurong West.

Teens can feel suffocated by excessive monitoring of their studies, micromanaging of their schedules, nagging and unsolicited advice. Instead of constant reminders, what they need is acknowledgement from their parents that they are, in fact, studying.

Ayden Ang, 19, a diploma graduate from NUS High School of Math and Science recounts: “Sometimes, my parents assumed I wasn’t studying or revising when they saw me on the phone in my room. I wished they had more trust in me and my study schedule.”

Despite this, he appreciates his parents’ efforts, such as ensuring that he arrived at school on time for exams and cooking his favourite food of ramen. He and his 21-year-old brother Ashton are now doing national service.

His 15-year-old sister, Alethea, is also thankful for her parents’ support, like when they bought comfort food such as french fries and croissants, and stayed up late with her during study sessions.

But she would have liked a heads-up about outings, especially around exams.

“While I appreciate their effort to help me relax, I wish they had informed me about their plans a day earlier,” she says.

“I had already worked out my study schedule for that day. Now I have to spend extra effort to change it to accommodate our outing.”