Getting through perimenopause as a family

Perimenopause is an unexpected operating system refresh and it affects everyone in the family

- Abel Ang

Perimenopause is hell. Just trust me when I say it.

Families who don't yet know what the word means, please count yourself lucky.

Not-for-profit medical group practice Mayo Clinic describes perimenopause as "the time before menopause when your body is getting ready to stop having periods. Perimenopause is sometimes called the menopausal transition".

How clinical and boring.

While it may be biologically accurate, it could not be further from the hellish reality which is perimenopause.

My wife, F, describes it as a new operating system that downloaded overnight. And the next morning, nothing works the same as before, and you have funky new features you've never encountered. Your old settings are forgotten, and you'll have to find inconvenient workarounds.

As a partner still trying to survive perimenopause, I would just say it's an operating system refresh that no one expects, and it doesn't just affect the woman. It affects everyone in the family, necessitating this survival guide.

This piece is written with heavy input from my wife, as we have lived through perimenopause for almost 1 1/2 years now.

One day, my wife of more than two decades was fine, and the next day, I didn't recognise the woman sleeping next to me any more.

HORMONAL HAVOC

Many women going through perimenopause describe it as hormonal hell. The "flames" include brain fog, mood swings, anxiety, depression, exhaustion and insomnia, all stemming from hormonal fluctuations that disrupt brain chemicals and energy regulation.

What people don't often talk about is that the family goes through it too.

Perimenopause caused my wife to start heating up like a cellphone with a faulty battery during charging. Remember those Samsung Notes that burst into flames on flights? Welcome to my life.