Clearing the air with a colleague who may be upset with you

In this series, manpower correspondent Tay Hong Yi offers practical answers to candid questions on navigating workplace challenges and getting ahead in your career.

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Q A colleague seems to be upset with me. What can I do to mend ties?

A First, learn to quickly spot the signs that something is amiss, especially if a colleague engages with you in a consistently different manner from before.

"You might notice a shift in how they communicate warmth fades, conversations feel more distant or tense, and politeness starts to feel a little too careful," says Ms Liew Shi Min, clinical psychologist and director of Heartscape Psychology.

Other subtle shifts could include impatience in facial expressions, as well as a flat, disinterested tone, she says.

"Sometimes, the change lies in how they interpret things. They may begin to assume negative intent thinking you're being dismissive or not pulling your weight even when your behaviour hasn't changed.

"Neutral comments or actions can start to feel personal to them, often because some tension beneath the surface hasn't been named."

The colleague might also be more curt, withhold information from you or reply slower than before, adds Ms Liew.

It can be helpful to approach the colleague to gently broach the topic.

"You might start with a simple observation, like, 'I noticed we haven't been talking as much lately' Ms Liew suggests.