Birth more, work more, care more The triple burden on women as Asia ages

A greying, shrinking Asia needs many more caregivers. That burden is mostly borne by women.

- Lin Suling

Senior Columnist Old age caught up with my spritely grandparents as they reached their 90s.

It came like a thief in the night and caught them by surprise, having lived decades in spectacular health. In the span of a year, my grandmother's lung cancer turned terminal, while her dementia progressed, and my grandfather broke his hip.

It was with great foresight of the hardship ahead and self-sacrifice that my mother had therefore planned to resign her job and move in with them.

Her presence had a calming effect on my grandparents, who had lived by themselves before that. Her company kept their spirits up, through dark days when being robbed of mobility and clarity of mind became soul-crushing.

For the four years she lived with them, this was a 24/7 responsibility with no breaks, no pay, and, after grandpa passed on first and as my grandmother's dementia progressed, dismally, little affection from the remaining care recipient.

But what my mother remembers of that period were the slow morning walks around the neighbourhood they would take together and moments of clarity when grandma remembered who she was.

What helped was the daily assistance from a newly hired foreign domestic helper, who was trained by the palliative care department in the hospital that saw my grandparents come in and out over the years.

Nurses there stepped in when symptoms flared up or more morphine was required to manage pain. And when they came to grandma's funeral to pay their respects, they had tears in their eyes. Saying goodbye is never easy.

CARE MORE

All across the world, countries are ageing. Seniors in their 60s today outnumber children below five. Asia, as the fastest-ageing region in the world, will see seniors aged 60 and above almost double from about 700 million to 1.3 billion by 2050. A super-aged population will reorder society.