‘Idoglatry’

You read right.

- CITO BELTRAN

The word is “idoglatry” and I believe I coined the word that applies to obsessive adoration, devotion and excessive expense made for a pooch.

Idoglatry is the modern application of idolatry, where the Israelites worshipped a man-made cow just like the metal charging bull in the financial district of Manhattan, New York.

I am not hating on man’s best friend, the dog, maybe just annoyed at some of our best friend’s best friend or paw parent for their affectionate excess on their dogs.

I have four mixed breed Great Dane X Belgian Malinois and I have spent money feeding, housing, vaccinating them. Their vet, Doc Joy, makes house calls but that is as far as things go.

They all have to earn their keep by barking and creating an illusion that they will confront intruders and defend their pack. So far they have managed to fake it, even making someone’s bodyguard pee in his pants.

I treat our dogs as “working dogs” first, pets second. They chase rodents, one is a snake’s worst nightmare, but all know how to charm guests for a stroke or a treat. They all have names and are treated with tough love. No unauthorized barking, no stealing food and no fighting

I don’t take them to the nearby “paw friendly” malls, because they are discriminated against by ignorant managers who assume that the aggressiveness or ferocity of a canine increases in direct proportion to its size.

They obviously have not seen how big dogs are usually terrified or dislike yappy, nippy toy dogs. No matter their size, I have seen them cower or run away from a yip-yapper with their tail between the legs.