At the table: Sad steaks seasoned with despair

Fetch the smelling salts, you're in for a shock: A Restaurant Critic Hates a Famously Terrible Restaurant. Low-hanging fruit? Perhaps.

- DAVID ELLIS

Angus Steakhouse Branches across town

But recently Reddit wags have been hyping Angus Steakhouses as hidden gems with the finest steak in town. It's a ruse to shepherd tourists away from the decent places.

Influencers too, even the veggies.

Perhaps it's working. Under the jazz club red of its frontage, the man on the door was pursing his lips. "A table for two?" he said, looking inside dubiously.

"We're full..." A low point, being turned away from an Angus Steakhouse. "I don't suppose Jay Rayner has to put up with this," smirked my pal.

But one table freed up, so in we went.

A restaurant of faded fortunes, not ugly but unloved. A room police-raid bright, of red and black and mirrors, of velour banquettes worn thin by a thousand ample American backsides. Beside us a couple, adults, spend the evening building Lego. What must life be like at home? The room smelt of pubs in the Nineties (one of which presumably donated the carpet), of heavy red wine and despair.

The menus continue the Nineties pub thing, being plastered in pictures.

Who, really, can this be for? Are people going out for steak without knowing what one is? Not that the menu was especially reliable, given much of what we wanted was unavailable, including various steaks. This on a Monday night.