LISTEN TO YOUR HEART

LOVE & WOMEN: PERSONAL NARRATIVES by Nanda Pethiyagoda

- REVIEWED BY JAYANTHA SOMASUNDARAM

Nanda is one of the most amazing women to have entered Sri Lanka's world of literature. Not only does she publish three columns a week in our newspapers with the regularity of an atomic clock, but in her columns she covers a range of topics including historical and contemporary issues of life, personalities and concerns. She has published a dozen books in little over a decade and the fervour of her output matches the boldness of her opinions.

The background to the challenge posed in this particular book of hers, is the fact that we live in a world where social change is exponential. We are fortunate to be witness to an era in which women are breaking through the myriad of fetters, taboos and just plain prejudices that have robbed them of the opportunity to aspire to and achieve their full potential. While this has been obvious in the area of academic and professional excellence, it has thankfully been paralleled by emotional and personal liberation as well.

Sri Lanka Society is in transition. The status of women, the attitude towards marriage, and the role of the wife are evolving. As the vestiges of the feudal patriarchal family recede, the role and self-perception of wives, the attitudes and outlook of each generation becomes more enlightened and modern.

The book and the attitudes that it records and uncovers remind us that until recently, and in many cases even now, family finances are controlled by the man and major, perhaps even minor decisions, which affect the wife and children are unilaterally decided by him. "Some wives are not permitted to call their husband by his name...it is considered disrespectful...many wives continue to be mere vassals to their husbands and remain under their thumb...a woman's worth depended on whether she was married or not."