The minute someone asks me out, I lose all respect for them

The Indy's agony aunt Victoria Richards is here to help

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Dear Vix, I have a really weird and embarrassing problem that I'm too scared to admit to anyone I actually know: the I sometimes even say out loud to myself, “as if!” and feel annoyed because they've ruined the game, you see – they've made it real.

And if they seem to like me too much - and express that openly - I find it a massive turnoff. It gives me “the ick”. I feel all sorts of weird feelings for them: contempt, pity, disgust... I even feel sorry for them.

I know you'll probably say “get straight to therapy”, but I’ve done therapy - loads of it. I have (though this might surprise you) pretty good self-esteem, so it’s not that I hate myself and can’t believe anyone would want to go out with me!

I just find my desire disappearing the moment someone actually wants to go out with me. Yet at the same time, I am sick of being alone and just wish I could find someone to do life with! What's going on?

Destined to be alone

Dear Destined,