That's what friends are for

Despite myths that marriage and motherhood divide women, many friendships deepen in our thirties, becoming steadier and more intentional through life's trials

- Olivia Petter

Friendship isn’t supposed to come with an expiration date. The idea is generally that you enter into it for good, forging a bond that will only get stronger over time. But women are often sold a different story, particularly when we reach our thirties, and suddenly every lifestyle choice we’ve ever made is being microscopically scrutinised and weaponised as a tool for severance. Are you married? Do you want children? Which schools do you live closest to? Are you dating? Do you go out on weeknights? Which dating apps are you paying for?

It's a decade that divides us into camps. And those camps are often pitted against one another; many friendships won't withstand the opposition. Married friends versus single ones, and so on. It sounds silly, but it really does happen – I've seen it myself many times: women feeling resentful on either side because their friend no longer understands their reality. The ones nursing babies rolling their eyes at the ones nursing STIs, and vice versa.

We're told to expect these sorts of issues from our screens and beyond; studies have shown that women start to lose close friends from their late twenties onwards at a faster rate than men. But in my own life, where I've noticed separations, whether it's through a friendship breakup or a classic fizzling, I've noticed just as much coming together, often at a much deeper and more meaningful level. Of course, I've lost friends along the way. But the ones who've stuck around since I turned 30 (and life started to get a little more serious) feel more solid than ever before.