Fast and furious: FA buckles up for a wild ride

England's German manager has agreed a marriage of convenience with quick success on everyone's mind

- Jonathan Liew

But what about the pathway? What kind of message does it send out to all the promising English coaches out there? What does it say about the system when the Football Association needs to import a head coach from abroad? Why won't you sing the national anthem? Is it hypocritical for you to wear a poppy when it was your lot who, you know?

Yes: if the industrial-strength outrage generated by his appointment is any indication, Thomas Tuchel's press conference after winning the 2026 World Cup is certainly going to be wild. Because of course we must assume that this outrage is in fact a consistent and principled intellectual stance that will be maintained throughout regardless of any victorious campaign, rather than, say, a bile reflex confected and amplified largely for clicks and attention.

But we're getting ahead of ourselves, and in more ways than one. Not least because there are few guarantees that Tuchel's and England's marriage of convenience will even survive the 18 months to the next World Cup. Tuchel wants a high-profile springboard to his next super-club job. The FA wants to win, and win now. Neither party is even really bothering to maintain the pretence that this is the start of a long and beautiful friendship.