Replacing hardware and software is going to be painful, costly and complicated

And in further fiscal frustration, if your pension plan is anything like mine, it is likely to hold a mixture of investments including UK, European and US stocks. I asked the very sensible person who administers my pension whether I could get rid of my US investments and was told it is possible, “although probably rather unwise as divesting completely from US holdings reduces geographic diversification, which could impact risk-adjusted returns”.

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I suspect in this context “rather unwise” actually means “Does this idiot even understand how money works?” Call me a coward, but incurring the wrath of my wife by jeopardising her future financial security is too great a risk for me to contemplate.