It is easier to blame 'outsiders' than build social integration

Every few weeks, another announcement. Immigrants must do this to earn the right to stay in the UK. Others must do that if they are to be allowed to work in the UK. The demands grow more punitive and absurd, like the whiteboard of a meeting where everyone agreed there were no bad ideas. Voluntary work! A decade to receive citizenship! Hear me out: English A-levels!

- Nesrine Malik

These are all real policies and pledges. Migrant NHS doctors for example, labouring for long days beyond what they are paid for, will now have to prove that they “contribute to society” to earn permanent settlement in the UK. The benchmark for that contribution is volunteer work (sorry, more volunteer work). The five-year route to settlement is now being extended to 10, to make absolutely sure that in addition to being in work, paying taxes, making national insurance contributions and paying a hefty charge to use the NHS, you're not taking the piss. The latest demand is that some migrants must be able to speak English to A-level standard because, according to home secretary Shabana Mahmood, “it is unacceptable for migrants to come here without learning our language, unable to contribute to our national life”.