Unwanted house guests

Here are house guests...and then there are bedbugs. You know, those microscopic ninjas that show up uninvited, make themselves at home in your mattress and then proceed to treat your body like an all-you-can-eat buffet.

- Sonja Brown

I became aware of these little vampirical freeloaders of the insect world during a stay in a five-star hotel recently.

Unlike ants, who at least help clean up your crumbs, or spiders, who are basically unpaid security guards keeping other bugs in check, bedbugs contribute nothing.

Bedbugs are like that one friend who always shows up to your party empty-handed, stays way too late and refuses to leave, even when you start doing the dishes and turning off the lights.

Except instead of asking for more drinks, they just bite you repeatedly and leave itchy welts on your skin as a thank-you note.