Have I got news for you...

I envy Americans.

- BEN TROVATO

I really do. They live in such an exciting country. America is rapidly becoming a hybrid of Mussolini's Italy, Hitler's Germany and Margaret Atwood's Gilead. Sure, terrible things happened in all three, but at least life wasn't boring.Grimly ploughing through one of our newspapers on Sunday, I was yawning so violently by the time I reached the story about the imminent unveiling of the OR Tambo statue on Durban's beachfront that I dislocated my jaw.

I had to ask the Dirty Blonde to whack it back into place. She didn't need a second invitation.

Perhaps Donald Trump hates us because we're so dull. A minister who got fired is taking action against the leader of his party. A former minister is fighting with another minister over some or other communications project. Someone at the PIC asked for a bribe. Someone else leaked exam papers to matrics. A DJ is fighting with his ex-friend over money. ANC this. MK that.

Tedious doesn't begin to describe what passes for news in this country. We need to start behaving like Republicans if we hope to redeem ourselves in the eyes of their lord and master.

Our president needs to start lying more than he already does. Way more. He's a rank amateur compared to Trump.