The great Christmas card mystery: Who the heck is John?

AH, THE holiday season is upon us, and with it comes the annual tradition that fills me with equal parts joy and confusion: the arrival of Christmas cards!

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And every year, without fail, | find myself embroiled in the same baffling mystery - who on Earth is "John"?

You know the one.

Every December, like clockwork, a card appears in my mailbox, signed simply “Merry Christmas, John". No last name, no return address, just a cryptic greeting that leaves me scratching my head like a confused chicken.

Now, | know a few Johns.

There's my cousin John, who still thinks he's the life of the party despite his last dance being in 1998.

Then there's my old schoolmate John, who once tried to convince me that wearing socks with sandals was a fashion statement.