Celebs' seven deadly fins

HERE’S a new show tonight that I’m a little bit confused by. It’s called SHARK! CELEBRITY INFESTED WATERS (ITV1, 9pm), and I can’t quite figure out what it’s for.

- 

Seven celebs (I'll list them for you in a moment, once I’ve summoned up the strength) have been flown to the Bahamas to swim with man-eating sharks of various kinds. I get that much.

I also get that they’re apprehensive, to say the least. Or terrified, to say the most, although clearly not so terrified that they turned down ITV’s offer to take part in this thing. Guided by a trio of experts, they'll start off swimming with the least scary species and progress, if that’s the word, to the most frightening.

But why? I mean, they’re not going to get eaten, are they? Which, be honest, is your first reaction when you hear about this programme.