'Poop Cruise' descends into horror show

THIS documentary is not for the faint-hearted, and when I say that, I mean it. If you're easily grossed out, then maybe stick to a cooking show, because Trainwreck: Poop Cruise is exactly what it sounds like, a holiday that turned into a s***show.

- BERNELEE VOLLMER

What starts as a luxury cruise turns into a stinking, sewage-filled disaster that unlocks a fear I didn't even know I had.

When most people think of cruise holidays, they picture cocktails on sun loungers, that corny Titanic pose with your partner at the bow, and overly friendly staff offering you a smile at every turn.

It's supposed to be endless sunshine, buffets big enough to feed a small country, lots of sex apparently and just the right amount of chaos at the karaoke bar. Cruises are often sold as floating hotels, clean, safe, self-contained little worlds on water. But this ship? This was not that.

The Carnival Triumph, which held over 4 100 people, was meant to take passengers on a two-day trip. Easy stuff, right? Wrong.

Just as people were getting into their holiday groove, sipping daiquiris and applying their third layer of sunscreen and coming off a babalas (hangover), a fire broke out in the engine room.

Just darkness. Total blackout.

And here's where it gets bad - like, poo floating down the hallway bad. The fire knocked out the ship's entire electrical system. That meant no flushing toilets, no aircon, no lights, no proper food prep and no communication.