Domestic violence: know your rights

THE courage to speak out may be regarded as a courageous characteristic to many, but to a victim of domestic violence such courage can be the very deterrent from them getting help.

- NADIA KHAN

Society has evolved but the “shame” and “blame” is still trite.

Domestic violence can reduce a highly-functional, educated and strong-minded individual to being fearful and isolated. Domestic abuse is from a person related to the victim by family relations. It can be a spouse, parent, sibling, child, etc. The abuser often uses violence as a mechanism to maintain power over their victim. The abuse manifests itself in the form of harassment and intimidation, emotional, physical, mental and even financial abuse.

Financial abuse is when the abuser fails to maintain the victim by financially depriving them from the basics such as the payment of a bond or utilities. While it is more prevalent with women, men are also victims.

Domestic violence does not discriminate and can occur in heterosexual relationships and same-sex partnerships. Often clients ask me if I believe they are a victim of abuse. My answer is with three simple questions: when you are around this person — do you walk on eggshells?, are you afraid that a simple act by you may result in a blow up?, and do you feel a sense of edginess?

If any of these questions are answered in the definitive it most probably is a sign of abuse in view of fear of this person. No relationship is perfect. However, the fear that is instilled after a usual disagreement can be the exact trait of an abusive relationship. Victims of abuse usually have a telling sign such as isolation, fear to speak or being unusually anxious around the abuser, physical scars, depression, etc.