Ghosting Is Out and Speed-Dumping Is In

Some believe it essential to send the text within hours, even if you're unsure how the other person felt

- Katherine Bindley

Hannah George was once ghosted by a man she'd been seeing for several weeks. She never wanted to make anyone else feel that way, so she adopted a new approach: texting guys after mediocre first dates to say she wasn't interested.

Recently, the 24-year-old nutrition assistant in New York was on the receiving end of such a text. A man she'd been out with once sent a paragraph-long message about how he'd just spent time with his family, how it had made him nervous about what he wanted in a relationship and how he just couldn't be with her.

"I thought it was a little bit too long," says George. "You didn't mean this much to me."

There's a moment after a dud of a first date—and definitely after a bad one—when the disappointed parties think to themselves: I really hope I don't hear from that person again. The odds of that are getting slimmer.

Singles are practically racing to let their online matches know that they aren't a match. Now please don't get them wrong: They think you're great, just not great for them. But they really did have a lovely time and enjoyed the conversation. They might even hope to see you around. Most of all, though, they wish you the best.

These texts have arisen as a countermovement to ghosting, or ending contact without explanation. Stories abound of people vanishing after seeing someone for weeks or even months, leaving the person on the other side without answers. The practice, while still common, has been falling out of favor.