Deepa Paul is not afraid of your questions

The Filipina-Indian author based in Amsterdam peels past labels, asks for what she wants, and brings her voice to the Frankfurt stage

- By IETH INOLINO-IDZERDA

A few days after a week-long writing residency in Greece with sunsets over the Aegean Sea, Deepa Paul is back in Amsterdam, sitting on a leather couch at De Ysbreeker, a favorite local cafe facing the Amstel River.

In a few days, she will fly to Frankfurt for the world’s biggest book fair. But for now, she’s admiring a floor-to-ceiling bookshelf that serves as a backdrop to a billiards table. The clicking of the balls threatens to puncture our sentences, so we move to a quieter corner. Realizing she skipped lunch, she ordered a typical Dutch fix: a tosti—grilled ham and cheese (dunked in ketchup) and a glass of iced tea spiked with sparkling water. The book on the table is anything but typical.

Her debut memoir, “Ask Me How It Works: Love in an Open Marriage,” reads like the ideal solo weekend trip companion: a chapter on the train, another for a park bench, one more beside an aperol spritz before dinner. It’s like traveling with a friend—you hear yourself ask, and the next page answers. The first step to any answer, she’ll tell you, is asking the right questions. If Carrie Bradshaw knows good sex and isn’t afraid to ask, Deepa knows open marriage—and isn’t afraid to answer.