I felt a bit like I'd been caught in the middle of a soap opera

Sat in a café, sipping an over-priced coffee and picking some weird green garnish off the top of my scrambled egg (it's tough being me), I overheard a great conversation.

- Steve Canavan

A man in his early 20s had his laptop open and was speaking to his girlfriend on some sort of video call. He didn't have headphones, so I could hear both sides of the conversation-probably incredibly annoying for most of the café goers but perfect for a nosey busybody like myself looking for something to fill a newspaper column.

In truth, I wasn't listening at first-mainly because I was gazing out of the window at a young couple lay on the grass virtually making love. Honestly, it was X-rated. He was lay on his back, she was draped over him, and their mouths were locked together for so long that I thought one of them might have accidentally put superglue on their lips. It was like 50 Shades of Grey, except in a public park with families walking by. Put me right off my scrambled egg.

Anyway, just as I was wondering if they were going to go the whole hog and try for a baby, I heard a female voice go, 'arghhhh', which prompted me to divert my eyes from the al fresco lovemaking session to laptop guy. There was a young girl on the screen rubbing her shoulder and saying, 'honestly it's the worst sunburn I've ever had.'

What caught my eye wasn't her shoulder-though she was right; it was a shade of red so deep it was like someone had opened a bottle of tomato ketchup and smeared it over her skin-but the fact she was sat on a blanket and behind her the sun was rising over the most beautiful mountains.