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When Love Costs Too Much in Kashmir

Kashmir Observer

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AUGUST 10, 2025 ISSUE

Young couples in Kashmir face heartbreak not from fading feelings but from the impossible demands of dowry, jobs, and social status.

- Kaisar Ahmad Malla

When Love Costs Too Much in Kashmir

I've seen love that feels strong and real, full of hope and warmth in Kashmir. But even with all that strength, it often faces challenges it can't overcome, making it hard for that love to last.

The heartbreak probably made Pablo Neruda to write, “Love is so short, forgetting is so long.” Those words speak of parting and memory’s sting.

Here, in our towns and villages, forgetting is not the worst part. The cruelest sorrow is watching love end before it ever truly begins.

The saddest farewells I know come from reasons no one dares to name aloud: unemployment, empty pockets, and the weight of customs we call tradition.

I have witnessed young couples, bound not by fleeting attraction but by years of shared dreams, slip into strangers. They don’t stop caring. Their hearts remain connected. What breaks them apart is the brutal reality of a world that demands a steady paycheck, gold ornaments, and social standing before love can take root.

Once, a man’s kindness, honesty, and goodwill were enough to ask for a woman's hand. Today, that’s only the opening on a long checklist.

A suitor must show a government job or something just as permanent, own a car, and ideally have his own house.

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