The In-Law Question

In a living room in Kashmir, a dispute between a young couple turned into a lesson on care, culture, and what religion really asks of us.

- Bilal Ahmad Khanday

Not long ago, I sat in a modest living room in Ganderbal, shoulder to shoulder with elders, relatives, and a local cleric. We had gathered for what seemed like a straightforward mediation between a married couple.

Their conflict wasn't unique. It was based on misunderstandings, hurt feelings, perhaps a bit of mistrust. But what caught me off guard was how quickly the discussion veered into deeper territory: the question of whether a daughter-in-law is obliged to care for her husband's parents.

"She's not bound to," the cleric said flatly. "Not by religion, not by ethics. Her husband can't ask it of her either."

Heads nodded around the room. No one argued. No one even flinched. It was as if someone had read a verdict from a sealed book.

But I sat uneasily. Something about the confidence of the statement, and the silence that followed, troubled me.

I've spent most of my life in a culture where family ties are sacred. I've also studied enough religion to know that what's written in our texts is often more nuanced than how it's preached. That day, I couldn't stay silent.