Fatherhood Shaped by Judgment

A father's story shows the heavy cost of society's demands on dignity and survival.

- Dr. Towseef Bhat

We are born into society long before we understand ourselves.

From the moment we learn to speak, we also learn to notice opinions, expectations, judgments, and comparisons.

Our identity grows in interaction. Society acts as a mirror, showing us who we are.

Up to a point, this shaping is necessary. Society gives us language, discipline, values, and a sense of belonging. It teaches us modesty, responsibility, and how to live with others.

When social influence guides us and supports our growth and happiness, following it feels natural and comforting.

The danger begins as society stops guiding and starts commanding. Approval takes priority over being true to ourselves. Fear replaces choice. People stop asking what is right for them and focus only on what will shield them from judgment.

This burden is heaviest on the poor. Poverty is more than a lack of money. In a society where worth is measured by lifestyle, it becomes public exposure. Decision feels like a performance, while failure becomes a story for others to tell.

A poor father watches others cautiously, worried that his children will seem less, that modesty will be mistaken for failure, or that honesty will invite punishment.