All I want to hear is the medicine's working

COLIN Hawkins walks into the reception area of an office building.

- BY GARRY DOYLE

As he moves, heads turn, in the way they often do when a person of note mixes with the public.

At 47, Hawkins' fame has certainly faded, 15 years passing since he last played League of Ireland football.

So why was it that these office workers stopped to glance in his direction?

And then it became clear that it wasn't because of who he was but rather how he was: confident, content, strong.

Physically he looks great, his face possessing a permanent smile.

His demeanour is calm, his words gentle.

But inside there is turmoil.

So let's get out of the way and let Hawkins tell his story.

"In a couple of weeks' time I am going to hear if the drug that I am taking is killing the cancer I have," he says.

"I deal with the side effects (of the illness) every day. It's mentally challenging but I am getting on with it, going to nine o'clock mass every day after the school drop off.

"I hadn't gone to mass in years but it has helped me deal with it, giving me a half hour every day to think about my priorities.

"I try not to worry about it too much, try to trust the medicine and the medics and hopefully in a couple of weeks, I will be told, 'this drug is doing what it is supposed to. You are on the right path'.

"That is all I want to hear and when I do hear it, I can go walking, jogging, swimming, all those things that you take for granted."

As he speaks, his tone remains unchanged.

Self-pity is non-existent.

He is calm, in control and secure.