Old mates rib me over tragic youth

'I'M NO LONGER A NERD'

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HOW do I get my old mates to treat me with respect?

I’m a mature guy. Every time we get together, they humiliate and tease me with embarrassing tales of my tragic youth.

They point out that I couldn’t dance, was useless at sport and was the last to lose my virginity at the grand old age of 21.

They still call me “Spotty” the mean name I was given at 13 for obvious reasons...

They love to remind me of the girl I was obsessed with throughout my teens - the girl I finally asked to dance at the youth club disco who snogged me all through Rihanna's Umbrella and then went home with someone else. I was so upset that I was sick at the bus stop, and they took photos. I was a hopeless nerd but I’m not that man today.