Grinch bloke has stolen Christmas

MY bloke has put the kibosh on Christmas.

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He's banned anyone coming into our house from now until January 2nd.

He's not interested in offering my parents so much as a mulled wine or slab of stollen. For Christmas dinner he wants a simple meal of egg and chips, without any of our friends or family in attendance. I've had to ring round and put off everyone I'd invited and they're not happy.

There's no denying that he's become reclusive and stubborn in this past year. He switched to full-time working from home last February and he's changed.

He mutters that he's bored of our old friends. He says they’re a bunch of gannets and users. He insists that our “entertaining days are over”.