School football only adds to winter of discontent...

DOUBLE TROUBLE FOR A FIRST TIME DAD OF TWINS

- RICHARD IRVINE

“How was school?” I asked Thomas, since all he'd said to me was, “Where's the iPad?”

“Not good, we had football,” he replied with a serious tone, and a look on his face, which implied a traumatic memory of something terrible.

“He doesn't like sport,” Emma chipped in to add some context, and to reassure me it was nothing more sinister than his dislike of team pursuits.

Naturally, I knew he wasn't the next David Beckham, but not how deeply he felt about the beautiful game, beloved of so many other youths.

It was also a revelation, and against the expected norms of society, a child would view the sports part of school as the worst bit and confess, he'd rather be studying the Great Fire of London.