OH NO, IT'S THE GREAT PRETENDER

T’S amazing how much you can learn from watching Channel 5 (as I still stubbornly insist on calling it).

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You can learn a lot in particular about farming, royalty, air fryers, veterinary surgery, the county of Yorkshire, the Seventies, freak weather events, budget supermarkets and the all-time favourite chewy sweets of John Sergeant and that lady from Bucks Fizz.

For all of which, let me stress, I'm very grateful. Especially for that last nugget of information: I never used to know what to get those guys for Christmas.

However (you knew there’ would be a “however”), when it comes to fundamental lessons in life, I do feel a little let down.