How to be a GREAT grandparent

As research reveals many older Britons feel they're missing out on their pre-teenage grandchildren's lives, a 'tween' parenting expert reveals some simple techniques to stay in touch as they grow up... and why it's important for everyone

- Tanith Carey

IT CAN often feel that grandchildren grow up too fast. One minute they're looking up adoringly at you, begging you to take them to feed the ducks. Next, it's hard to get them to look up from their screens. Indeed, a recent survey of 11,000 grandparents found that more than half (53 per cent) experienced so-called "fear of missing out" because they felt left out of their grandchildren's lives with two-fifths of these feeling lonely as a result.

But don't give up on forging deeper connections with your grandkids as they move from childhood into their pre-teenage years sometimes known as "tweens". Studies have found the continued presence of grandparents is equally important to young and old.

While you can provide acceptance, stability and a sense of identity to them, a range of studies have found that staying close to your grandchildren will help you live longer and even cut your risk of dementia. Child clinical psychologist Dr Angharad Rudkin - co-author of the new book What's My Tween Thinking? - says don't lose confidence as they grow older.

"When they're little, grandparents have quite a defined role - whether it is to look after, play or just spoil their grandchildren," she explains. "But when that child moves into the adolescent years, grandparents can feel less confident and sure about how to be with them. Of course, much will depend on how far away you live. But wherever you are, the good news is there's plenty of steps you can take to stay close."

REMEMBER HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE: Research by Oxford University in 2019 found close grandparent-grandchild relationships were linked to a wide range of benefits for kids, making them happier, giving them higher self-worth and protecting them against depression especially if their parents are no longer together. It's never too late to make a difference.