Why won't the twins show proper respect for my office?

DOUBLE TROUBLE FOR A FIRST TIME DAD OF TWINS

- RICHARD IRVINE

If you've ever wondered how to make sure a child does something, you need to tell them not to do it.

“Don't touch that,” means the exact opposite, in the same way “please brush your teeth” means run around, fight with towels and do anything but what's asked.

Initially, it's confusing, but after a while, you adapt and realise it’s pointless telling children not to do anything.

Sometimes you slip up, and I regret telling them to stay out of the spare room if I'm in there working.

As a result of this, my home office has a forbidden zone excitement, which attracts both my children.

The main issue is that they will sometimes make a guest appearance, as Emma did yesterday, when she danced into my office singing, “kissy face, kissy face”, while I'm part of an online meeting.