Negative vibes

IT’S EASY ENOUGH to turn down the sales brochure being handed out by a promo person to passersby at the mall for yet another property development.

- By Tony Samson

Just walk faster, even with a walking stick, and wave a hand — Thanks. There's no need to even get the brochure.

Rejection, or turning down proposals or requests, is a delicate art in our culture of inclusion and avoidance of conflict. (Of course, boxing challenges for charity offer another form of evasion such as an unscheduled trip abroad.)

What an anthropologist calls “Smooth Interpersonal Relationship” (SIR) is a cherished value for Filipinos. This is part of the kinship system which includes even ritual relationships like fraternities and religious links. The effort to avoid conflict and ensure good relations in social interactions affects how rejections are handled.

The strategies for softening the blow of a negative response may include a request for more information (Can you send me an email on the details?), delaying any definite response (Let me ask my staff to study this.), or simply avoiding the pesky supplicant. In the digital age, there is too the simple expedient of not replying to a text request for a meeting —YNR?