5 things not to say to someone with ADHD

WE'LL SAVE YOU THE TROUble of wondering: Yes, people with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) have considered using planners, setting alarm clocks, and creating reminders on their phones. No, those suggestions aren’t helpful.

- BY ANGELA HAUPT

In fact, these are among the worst things you can say to someone with ADHD, which is characterized by symptoms like having a hard time paying attention, struggling with task initiation, and engaging in impulsive behavior. “It’s like, Wow, what a genius idea,” says Bailey Pilant, a licensed mental-health counselor in New York who specializes in ADHD. Yet people dispense these well-intentioned but unsolicited tips again and again—including telling Pilant she should try writing things down. “I can write it down, and I’m still not going to remember because you can bet I’m going to lose that paper,” she says. “I’m not going to remember I wrote it down, I’m not going to remember where I wrote it down, I’m not going to be able to find it, and then, just like that, it’s out of my head.”

Instead, Pilant suggests offering support with comments like these: “I can see how much effort it takes you to manage this. It sounds really hard.” You could also show interest by asking: “What are the biggest challenges you deal with every day?”