TAKE NO PRISONERS

In this exclusive excerpt from Dreaming Japanese, Marty Friedman's new autobiography (co-written by frequent GW contributor Jon Wiederhorn), the ace guitarist details his auditions with Ozzy, Megadeth and - what's this about Madonna?

- MARTY FRIEDMAN AND JON WIEDERHORN

THE FIRST SHOT I had at joining a big act happened while I was living in San Francisco, sometime in the late '80s. Ozzy Osbourne was looking for a guitarist to replace Jake E. Lee, and someone recommended me to his wife and manager, Sharon. She called and offered to fly me to Los Angeles for an audition. I was thrilled that someone in Ozzy's camp had even heard of me and was willing to pay my airfare to hear me play.

As great as they are, Ozzy's and Black Sabbath's songs are way easier to play than anything by [my band] Cacophony. I had no problem learning them, and then I over-practiced until I was so confident I could have played the songs fluidly in the middle of an earthquake. I was looking forward to plugging in and showing Ozzy my chops, but when I got to the studio, neither Ozzy nor Sharon was anywhere in sight. Only bassist Phil Soussan and drummer Randy Castillo were there, which kind of bummed me out. But they were all set up and ready to play, and I was raring to go. I introduced myself and told them how stoked I was to audition.

Phil grunted. Randy shrugged. “Are we going to do this?” Randy asked as if he had somewhere to be in thirty minutes. From their bored expressions and the dozens of manilla envelopes and cassettes lying around, I got the feeling that they had already auditioned tons of guitarists. I played four or five songs with them and didn't miss a note. The musical vibe was great, natural and relaxed, and we sounded totally major league. And while Phil and Randy were polite and pleasant, it seemed like they would rather be sitting in a proctologist waiting room than auditioning me.