BIRTHDAY BANGERS

Before we ditch the leftover cake and wipe off our 12th year, let's explore the possibilities for unadulterated, blistering birthday sex. Here's our top ten...

- VANESSA DE LARGIE

Jokes are plentiful when discussing birthday sex. There’s the infamous ‘birthday blowjob’ that comes once a year. Then there’s the ‘birthday shag’– a popular event amongst non-newlyweds. However, for those searching for some serious birthday action, I’ve constructed a list of 10 hot sex ideas which will skyrocket your birthday bang to new heights!

FOR HER BIRTHDAY

1. Marathon Sex It’s time to go hard or go home. You have four goals: a) To gift her with multiple orgasms. Easy, right? b) To pound her so hard that she wakes up with a “bangover”. c) To perform cunnilingus until your tongue goes numb. d) To put her sexual pleasure above yours.

2. Three Wishes

A recent study conducted by The Australian Study of Health and Relationships found that 92% of men and only 66% of women orgasm during sex. So, if you’re unable to transform into a genie on her birthday and grant three sexual wishes – well, you ain’t much chop. Whilst gifting your birthday girl, don’t forget to voice how important it is that she climaxes. Just hearing these supportive words could set her off.

3. Blindfolds