DIFFERENT BRAIN SAME LOVE 11

As more and more people are coming to terms with a diagnosis of neurodivergence, it's time we understood what this means for dating...

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Whether it’s the virtually sexless relationship of Sheldon and Amy on The Big Bang Theory, the complete social awkwardness of the eponymous heroine in the recent crime drama Prudence, or some of the more challenging participants on The Undateables, if you believe what you see on TV and social media, you've probably been left thinking that having a lovelife is virtually impossible if you're neurodivergent.

But with nearly 40% of UK adults single (of whom 15% are neurodiverse, according to research), love is more diverse than ever. However, for those with autism, ADHD, or other neurodivergent traits, dating doesn’t follow a one-size-fits-all formula.

Dr Selina Warlow, founder of The Nook Clinic and a neurodivergence expert, says the key to neurodivergent dating is understanding and embracing differences. ‘Dating as a neurodivergent person — or with a neurodivergent partner — means stepping away from traditional norms and focusing on what works for you.

‘It’s about creating meaningful connections in ways that feel authentic and manageable.’

Dating when you’re neurodivergent

If you’re neurodivergent and are finding it hard to focus on the whirlwind of modern dating, or feel like traditional approaches don’t quite fit, you're not alone. Dr Warlow says: ‘The key to navigating dating as a neurodiverse person is embracing your authentic self. When you're open about your needs and preferences, you're far more likely to find a connection that works for both of you.’ She says

• Don’t feel the need to mask

It’s okay to ask for what you need. If you prefer structured plans over spontaneity, or you need time to process emotions, let your date know. Sharing this openly helps set realistic expectations and allows both of you to enjoy the experience without unnecessary stress.

• Lead with your interests