BLAST from the past?

Taking a trip to an old holiday destination can help you chart a new course, says Greta Solomon

- Greta Solomon

Returning home from dance class one day with my daughter, we spotted a pre-teen girl and her mother loitering at the path to our front door. Embarrassed, the mother confessed that they just wanted to see their old home again. We chatted as they looked around our front garden, telling us tales of their happy time at number 72. I debated whether to let them in. But it was our home now, and it felt wrong to allow someone else’s past to intrude on our present.

But why do we feel so nostalgic for people, places, and things from the past? Why is it so hard to let them go? And why are we so tempted to revisit the parts of us that we've left behind? I spoke to chartered psychologist Dr Manpreet Dhuffar-Pottiwal to find out.

‘Our brains are wired to revisit the past as a way of maintaining self-continuity — the psychological thread that connects who we were to who we are,’ she says. ‘Psychological research shows that nostalgia boosts mood and reinforces identity. By revisiting the past, we learn from mistakes, process unresolved emotions and anchor our sense of self in a coherent life narrative.’

And it goes deeper than that. ‘Our former selves anchor our identity. Identity is a cumulative narrative and letting go of past selves can trigger existential dissonances. Even when we feel content, we cling to past versions because they symbolise resilience. Additionally, unresolved goals or regrets can tether us to past identities and emotional milestones, sometimes creating psychological conflict,’ says Dr Manpreet. The sportsperson you failed to be doesn’t just disappear when you hang up your netball bib. Nor do the obstacles you've faced in establishing yourself.