Glass Children No More

Ensuring neurotypical siblings feel seen in a special needs family

- JACLYN GREENBERG

Nicole and John Calicchio of Bedminster, with their children, Elianna, 17, and twins Arielle and Alexander, 14.

Nicole Calicchio of Bedminster has three children, Elianna, 17 and twins Arielle and Alexander, 14. Alexander has multiple disabilities from a non-inherited genetic abnormality. She and her husband, John, have always been tuned into distributing care as equally as possible among the siblings.

Balancing Siblings’ Needs

When parents focus more on the child with disabilities and assume the neurotypical child is fine, the neurotypical sibling may feel like a “glass child.” A phrase that refers to a sibling of a child with disabilities who may feel ignored, or such as the parents “see through them like glass.” But, of course, all children need love, attention and to feel seen and heard.

Nicole Calicchio and son Alexander get ready to share some ice cream.

“Since we knew Alexander would need extra attention and medical care, I have always been concerned about the impact on his sisters and have made a conscious effort to provide them with extra attention,” Nicole Calicchio says. “We had special girls’ trips to Sesame Place when they were younger, which became (trips to) New York City as they got older. Both my husband and I find ways to spend time with each daughter one-on-one and sometimes as a pair. We make them aware of their brother’s situation and that his needs might take more of our attention at times.”