HOW TO SET FINANCIAL BOUNDARIES

When do additional financial responsibilities escalate into risk? We speak to experts to suss out strategies to better manage our money obligations, plus learn how and where to draw the line.

- Text Meredith Woo

Coming from a family with strong Asian values, Miki Chia always thought it was her duty to provide her parents with an allowance as soon as she started working. The 36-year-old would give her mother $1,200 a month, but that was not all.

Recalls the librarian: "My mum, who runs a hawker stall, would sometimes ask for help to cover the rent. She also takes care of stray cats, and she'd ask for money to send them to the vet."

At one point, Miki had less than $10,000 in her bank account, and her only investments were insurance-linked.

She says: "I love my mum, but these incidents became so frequent that I was giving more than what was agreed upon, yet I couldn't say no out of guilt. I grew incredibly resentful, especially as we had already wiped out our savings with hospital treatments for my late father."

Caught in a similar situation, compliance officer Eloise Tan is the eldest of three siblings - they still turn to her despite being well past their college years. In addition to footing the entire bill when the family goes out and funding their purchases, she also contributes to household expenses as her parents have limited income.

"Initially, I didn't mind helping out because I wanted to ease the burden on my parents and give my siblings the opportunities I didn't have," says the 31-year-old. But this has started to take a toll on her savings and future plans, like buying a home or travelling.

She has attempted to create boundaries by asking her siblings to share costs or take on their own financial responsibilities - but it's been met with resistance.

"My siblings argue that I've always helped, so why stop now? My parents also feel I should continue because 'family comes first'. I don't want to create conflict or seem like I'm abandoning my family, but I'm starting to feel frustrated and taken for granted," she shares.