Making Things Right

My dad and I never really connected. Now that doctors told him he had just months to live, would we ever?

- BY DIANE STARK, Brazil, Indiana

A DAUGHTER'S DILEMMA "Will Dad ever love me for the person I am?" Diane wondered.

I had just finished loading the groceries in my trunk that July day when my cell phone rang. The caller ID said John. My heart beat faster. I debated answering before hitting the button to take the call. “Hello, Dad,” I said.

“Hi, Diane,” he said. “I’m calling to let you know that my cancer is back and there’s nothing more the doctors can do. I’ve got three to six months.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” I said. And I was, though maybe not for the obvious reason.

“It’s all right. I’m an old man, and I’ve lived a long life. I’m right with God, and I’m right with all of my kids. That’s all that matters to me.”

He thought things were right between us? I’d seen him three times over the past 25 years and hadn’t spoken to him in four. His choice, all of it. But how could I bring that up now? Instead, I blurted out, without even knowing if I meant it, “I forgive you for everything that happened.”

“Thanks for that,” he said after a beat. “Well, I’ve got other calls to make, so I won't keep you.”

“Wait!” I said, “I’m a grandma now. Lea had a baby girl. She’s two.”

“Oh, how nice. I’m sure you’re enjoying that. Well, I’ve got other people to call.”

“Jordan is engaged. He’s getting married next July.”

“That’s great. Tell him congratulations. I should really go now.”

Desperate, I tried one more time. “Nathan is entering high school in the fall. He wants to be a pastor when he grows up.”

“You must be very proud of him. You and Eric did a great job with your kids. I’m going to hang up now. It was nice talking to you, Diane. Goodbye.”