Modern Manners Advice for Your Social Quandaries

KRISTEN ASKS... My friend works very hard as a teacher. Her husband has a couple of side jobs that don't bring in any real income to support their family. Whenever something goes wrong, like a problem with the car, her husband has his hand out asking for help from friends and family. As a result, they owe me money-but I see them going out to dinner and shopping. How do I ask for my $500 back?

- HODA KOTB & JENNA BUSH HAGER

HODA KOTB: I wouldn't ask for the money back, but I also wouldn't give them any more. In my opinion, when you give someone money, it's not your job to figure out how they spend it or what they spend it on.

JENNA BUSH HAGER: I totally agree. You've already given, so now you can stop if you feel uncomfortable.

HK: You've given with a big heart, and you can reassess whether you want to keep giving. If you decide you don't want to and they ask again, simply say you can't help at this time. You don't have to give a reason why.

J. ASKS...

Whenever our friends invite us over for dinner, we make an excuse to meet at a restaurant instead. Why? They have two large dogs who are allowed to roam free and are fed scraps from the table. After dinner, the plates are put on the floor for the dogs to lick! The lack of hand-washing prior to meal prep is an issue as well. I think they're starting to wonder why we avoid going to dinner at their home. What should we do?