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Modern Manners

Real Simple

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September 2025

Advice for Your Social Dilemmas

- BY JENNA BUSH HAGER & DONNA FARIZAN

Modern Manners

DANI ASKS...

I live in a fun neighborhood, where we have frequent get-togethers (game nights, potlucks, book clubs). One couple always expects to take home plenty of leftovers, regardless of whether they've been offered. This seems to bother quite a few folks, but no one says anything. Should I speak up?

JENNA BUSH HAGER: As somebody who has hosted a couple of book clubs myself, I'm always thrilled when people take the leftovers from my house. I would just let it be. It saves you or the other hosts the trouble of putting a ton of leftovers in containers! Also, no one wants to be part of a food-wasting situation. I would just let people take the food they want to take.

DONNA FARIZAN: I agree. I say feed the people! Give whoever whatever. Leftovers are first come, first served. You don't want to waste food. If the group feels like the couple is acting greedy about it, the host can pull them aside and say, “I made extra, and you're welcome to it, but please let the other guests have some too!”

LAUREN ASKS...

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