Planting New Roots

Six late-bloomer lesbians" share their stories of how they learned to live—and love—authentically.

- Lydia Wang

For decades, Susie Stonefield thought she was straight. She was married to a man, had three kids with him, and, from the outside, was enjoying a "perfect" marriage. Then, at 56 years old, she came out as gay-a process that involved a lot of fear, and even grief.

But today, she's happier than ever.

Susie, now 61, is not the only "late bloomer" who discovered her sexuality later in life. Suzette Mullen, 63, didn't come out until her 50s. Paulette Thomas-Martin, 72, liked girls at a young age but didn't come out until around 40.

Bridget Bertrand, 48, came out six years ago. And both Allison Garcia, 43, and Marina Brochado, 42, started discovering their sexuality around ages 37 and 38, respectively.

While younger queer women may take center stage on Instagram, in pop culture, and even at pride parades, the rich community of those who discovered their queerness in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and even later often goes overlooked. Many of these late-blooming lesbians and queer women were married to men, either before or while they figured out their sexuality; a lot of them are parents. Some found love with other people who came out later in life, some with women who'd been out since childhood.

Throughout my conversations with these women, I was moved by how many were able to identify with-and embrace-their queerness despite growing up amid varying degrees of homophobia, as well as little to no positive representation in the media (or, often, in their personal lives). I swooned over their stories of falling in love, resonated with their experiences of finding community, and learned from their reflections on authenticity. Most notably, though, I was surprised and struck by the fact that we shared many of the same core experiences, despite coming out at different ages, in different places, and under wildly different circumstances.

Like Allison, I found comfort and joy in queer shows and romance novels before I came out.