The power of self-compassion

While undoing a lifetime of beliefs can be challenging, it is possible to learn to become more self-compassionate. Discover how to develop a healthier and happier relationship with yourself.

- JESSICA LEE

Are you your harshest critic? Do you say things to yourself that you would never dream of uttering to a good friend? You probably know you should be kinder to yourself, but often it's difficult to be self-compassionate. This is especially true if you've grown up believing you need to be hard on yourself to achieve or be a good person. While undoing a lifetime of beliefs can be challenging, it is possible to learn to become more self-compassionate.

What is self-compassion?

Psychologist Catherine Moore explains that "When we forgive ourselves, accept our perceived flaws and show ourselves kindness, we practise self-compassion." Compassion expert and author Dr Kristin Neff says there are three core characteristics of self-compassion:

1 Self-kindness: When you fail or make yourself rather than judgemental.

2 Common humanity: You understand that is part of the shared human experience.

3 Mindfulness: You bring awareness to your suffering and what emotions your suffering and what emotions you're feeling, but you don't over-identify or get stuck in them.

Self-compassion means extending the same kindness to yourself that you likely give to others. Author Courtney Ackerman writes that self-compassion "... means that you act the same way toward yourself when you are going through a tough time as you would act towards a dear friend: noticing the suffering, empathising or suffering with yourself, and offering kindness and understanding." Developing self-compassion improves how you feel about yourself and has a positive flow-on effect in other areas of your life, including your health and wellbeing and your ability to reach your potential.

The power of self-compassion