HANDLING THE TRUTH

We all tell lies. That is a sad but undeniable truth. The question is whether those lies damage the important relationships in your life and, if they do, how can you change this?

- Words by Terry Robson

Relationships are challenging. Two people coming together to cohabit and share a lifetime, or even a few years, with each other can be difficult, if for no other reason than people are different. No two people are identical in their likes and dislikes, their strengths and weaknesses, or hopes and dreams. After the doe-eyed, weak-kneed, reality-defying honeymoon phase, a relationship must move into something more sustainable. Lasting relationships are not built on love, they are built on trust and, for trust to exist, honesty must feed it. If you want to bring truth-telling into a relationship, though, you need to be ready for the consequences. So, in the interest of relationships everywhere, we'll explore how you can navigate honesty in your relationship. Before we do that, however, it behoves us to think about why we might lie in the first place.

Why lie?

On the face of it, as the truism says, honesty is the best policy. If that is the case, though, why do we all lie? Yes, even you tell lies, and you probably do it quite often. One study conducted at the University of Massachusetts and published in the Journal of Basic and Applied Psychology found that during any given 10-minute conversation, 60 per cent of people will lie. Maybe those “60 per cent” are real bad seeds, but researchers at the University of Notre Dame found that the average person lies about 11 times per week. That is more than once a day, and it points to the fact that lying is simply part of being human and there are many reasons why this is the case.