Emotional attraction

Relationships can be tricky, but what if there was a special something that could help pave the way for your happily ever after? We explore what sets lasting relationships apart.

- CARROL BAKER

Some might say romantic comedies have a lot to answer for. Boy meets girl, drama ensues and boy loses girl. Then boy gets girl, they have a few laughs and live happily after.

Life doesn't always work out like that. But what if there was a way to stack the deck, to increase the chances of finding your soulmate and that seemingly elusive happily ever after? There is definitely a special something that sets lasting relationships apart from those that falter due to life's stressors or other circumstances. That special something is building trust and intimacy. It's a deep soul connection to another human, and it's called emotional attraction.

Unlike a set of well-defined biceps or a dazzling smile that makes you weak at the knees, it is something you can't touch. That is physical attraction, which is how someone perceives another in terms of physical beauty.

Physical attraction can also be tied to sexual attraction or desirability, but not always. Emotional and physical attraction can coexist, but one is very different from the other.

According to psychologist and psychotherapist Brendan McMahon, when you're emotionally attracted to someone, you find them compelling and comfortable. "Part of that is they are more inclined to share your values and your world view, and you find it easier to open up about yourself and disclose with them," he explains.

Emotional attraction is all about wanting to listen to someone instead of just hearing them. It's being endlessly curious about the other person, it's caring about the little things that matter to them, and for both parties, it's feeling understood. You get each other.